her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
