So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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