No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
