Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize