there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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