I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So apparently I’m into choking now
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