im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
