lets start a swedish sibling band together
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
