you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Drunk is not a location!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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