didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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