so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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