My brain says no but my pants say off.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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