I accidentally burped into my bong.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
