all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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