Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
