We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
