if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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