I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
