There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize