3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
