p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
