We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
