her vagine was all disorganized.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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