:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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