we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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