Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
