On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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