talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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