The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
