Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize