We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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