bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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