I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
MIDGETS
????
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
