It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
