I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
