Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
