She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
