i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
