I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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