I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
