I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize