Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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