My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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