When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I need to calm my uterus...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
