HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
