I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
