he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
