So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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