i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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