we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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