yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
