Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
