Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
