too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
