Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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