trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
