i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize