Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
