Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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