I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
