ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
