Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
