Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
