he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize