He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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