the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
