Porn is love you can see.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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