HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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