did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize