I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
even my farts smell like vagina
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm bleeding and have questions
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
