its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
